


Create Your Perfect World

by Midnight Wolf (Larkawolfgirl)



Category: Tales of Series, Tales of Xillia, Tales of Xillia 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Character Death Fix, F/M, Family, Fix-It, Implied Alvin/Leia Rolando, Jude Mathis/Milla Maxwell - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-01 20:52:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8637673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larkawolfgirl/pseuds/Midnight%20Wolf
Summary: Ludger has lost those closest to him, and though the prime dimension offers a promising fate for him, it remains out of reach. But out of the pain and misfortune, a new door is opened, and through it, a new path forged: one to his perfect world.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NinjaWhisper](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=NinjaWhisper).



> Written as a Christmas present for my sister (NinjaWhisper on fanfiction.net).

Ludger wakes in a cold sweat, images still etched into his now open eyelids. _Milla’s fragile smile and loosening grip. Her arm’s slackening grip. Empty air. Julius’ gentle demeanor. The faint hum of the Hymn of Proof. The world shattering around them before the tick, tick, ticking of his watch ceased and heaviness sagged in his arms. Elle’s pitiful state. Afflicted eyes, trembling body, cracking voice._ **_Ludger_** _._ He hears all three of their voices in his head, and his body gives a hard shudder.

He’s failed them. As many times as his friends tell him otherwise, he knows he has failed to protect those most important to him. They can never understand what it is he feels. To them, Milla was never more than a second-rate imitation (even if they never say so outright) and Julius was a near-stranger. And though each loved Elle in their own way, it wasn’t the same as his inherent family bond. It didn’t even change matters much when he learned he was her father. The bond was already there in his cells, a pull of their atoms; Blood recognizing blood. Protecting her innocent smile was all he ever wanted, yet instead, he let her die for the sake the world.

Ludger shakes his head, reminding himself yet again that all three chose to sacrifice themself. That each did so in order to protect him, as a sign of love. Yet this does nothing against the vicious chill on his skin or the clenching of his chest.

It’s been years already. He knows he needs to move on, meet Lara, and bring the real Elle into the world. Only then might he be able to alleviate this anguish which plagues him. Yet he is still unable to shake the nagging worry that things won’t turn out as they should. Yes, this is the prime dimension (with a set destiny), but too many things have changed. He knows too much, he’s met too many people he never should have. He’s yet to meet Lara, and a part of him is actually relieved. Lara is a stranger to him, nothing more than a catalyst for returning Elle to him. And as much as he wants Elle back, he knows the Elle he knew is irreplaceable. As much as a new Elle may heal his loneliness, she would also serve as a heartbreaking reminder of what it is he has lost.

In some strange way, he is content in his anguish.

It’s just past the crack of dawn, but he gets out of bed anyway. There’s never any hope of sleep when these thoughts creep into his mind like infesting cockroaches. He eats an extravagant breakfast (cooking is still the best way to quiet his rampant mind), then heads to Spirius for an appreciated lengthy day of work.

The building is empty at this hour. It would be eerie if it was not something he has grown accustomed to. There is a mountain of paperwork, and he devotes himself fully to it until receiving a call from Jude. Something about Origin and timelines and things too complicated to discuss over GHS.

Ludger’s hand shakes, and the GHS falls from his grip. Jude’s mildly worried voice wafts from the device before it cuts out. Numbness spreads through his nerve endings as if they have been uprooted. He wants to rush straight to Marksburg, but his body depresses into the plush chair beneath him, unwieldy. Instead of the usual flood of thoughts, they move in slow motion. _Don’t let your hopes up. They aren’t coming back. Nothing awaits you besides more regret._ A pause. Two slow, exaggerated breaths. _But what if? What if, things have changed that much?_

His legs feel like wood when he stands, but he pushes forward all the way to Marksburg, tossing nothing but the simplest of explanations Vera’s way. The city is bustling as usual, with one noticeable difference; the sky is an unsettling familiar purple, and an ominous infant floats inside a giant second moon-like object. Cannan.

Leia’s ever-eager voice breaks through his thoughts. “Ludger! Over here!”

The old gang is gathered together again, save for the presumed hard-at-work Milla Maxwell. Even though he’s anything but, Ludger forces a calm smile and nod at each of them in greeting.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Jude says. “I was nervous when you just hung up like that.”

Ludger shakes his head in assurance.          

“Sorry to spring this on you, but Origin had Milla contact me about this only about an hour ago. He says that the timeline has already been disrupted beyond repair and that he wants to speak with us—well you—as soon as possible.”

So he was right. A spark lights in his chest.

Jude gestures to the thicker air leading to the floating sphere. “He must have created the bridge specifically for us this time.” He places a friendly hand on his arm. “I know going back there will be tough on you…” The others mirror his concerned frown.

Ludger gives a more genuine shake of his head. A tiny part of him is humming with repressed anticipation of whatever news Origin has for him. Whatever is to come must be better than the dismal life he’s led these last five years. He can feel it.

It is strange wandering Cannan again, especially with a sense of expectation instead of distress. The way is as unclear and treacherous as before, yet they manage it in half the time. The Great Spirit Origin stands waiting for them looking entirely unchanged by time. His absolute whiteness is mesmerizing against the stark black backdrop.

“Hello, Ludger Kresnik. I have called you here to discuss your wish. The prime dimension has been altered so completely due to the Trial that it now resembles a fractured dimension. By all standards, the prime dimension no longer exists, which has created a loophole in your previous wish. If I were to destroy this final dimension, nothing would remain. Normally, I would restore the prime dimension through a full memory wipe. However, I am giving you one final wish as compensation for what this Trial has caused you personally to endure. You may restore the prime dimension, or else, you may create a replacement, alternative dimension to your own liking. The choice is yours, and yours alone.”

Julius’ voice plays in his head, _go create your perfect world._ Ludger does not even pause to contemplate before he answers. Origin smiles. Though his hair covers his eyes, it feels as if he can see straight through Ludger. He already knew what the outcome would be.

Ludger wakes, sweating. His head is foggy and there is a heaviness on his chest. When he looks down, his breath catches in his throat. A tiny girl with hair the color of sand and eyes as seafoam as his own rests there, face relaxed with peaceful sleep. He brings a hand to her back hesitantly, fearful that despite her tangible weight she may disappear like a phantom. She mutters something softly and nuzzles her face further into him at his touch. He’s so enraptured by seeing Elle alive and well that the familiar chuckle from the bedroom’s doorway startles him.

A gasp escapes him because it isn’t Lara standing there but Milla. Her face shows a dusting age, but she is as beautiful as ever. Her expression is more affectionate than he’s ever seen her, yet her haughtily crossed arms are unmistakable. “You two really are too much. We’ll be late at this rate.”

“Milla?” His voice comes out surprised and raspy, causing her to raise a brow.

“Who else were you expecting?”

The jealousy in her tone is calming, and he holds Elle tighter as he smiles. “Late for what?”

“What do you mean what? Your brother’s birthday party that _you_ planned, that’s what.”

This time he can hardly breathe momentarily, because as much as losing Elle killed him, Julius’ death was the one that scorched his psyche. Milla notices his internal dilemma, so he forces out a calm “Oh, yeah” as his mind continues to reel.

They are back. They are all back and safe, and everything seems perfect. But how? The last thing he remembers is Jude calling him about Origin. He tries to push further, but when he does it sends a jolt of pain to his cranium.

Elle stirs at his cry of pain. “Daddy?” she asks worriedly.

“I’m alright.”

She sighs before hugging onto him. “Good. I don’t ever want to see you in pain.”

Elle’s face darkened flashes. “Me neither,” he says, rubbing little circles on her back.

Milla taps her foot impatiently. “I return the sentiment, but really, we are going to be late.”

“Right.” Ludger pushes Elle up gently and begins to dress himself.

Julius’ apartment is the same as he remembers. Rollo welcomes him at the door with a lazy meow and a rub against his legs. Immediately after, Elle stoops and giggles as she hefts the plump cat into her arms. “Rollo! Have you been being a good kitty?” His reply is another meow.

Ludger watches her play with Rollo for a full ten minutes before Milla nudges his side. “Are we here for a party or to play with a cat?”

“Yeah…” He sets his bag of vegetables on the counter and begins cooking Julius’ favorite tomato dish as well as a single serving of Elle-style. It isn’t until he is measuring out the pasta that he realizes he has no idea how many he is feeding. “Who all said they could make it again?”

“Are you sure you are feeling alright? You are quite forgetful today. Everyone except Erston. He said he was too busy signing anti-war treaties or something of that nature.”

He takes a second to mentally count his friends. “That makes eleven, then.”

“Eleven?” Milla gives him a concerned look. “I just said Erston isn’t coming.”

Ludger faked an innocent looking shrug even though there is a sinking feeling in his stomach.

Guests arrive one by one until finally, Julius himself enters. He shakes his head, but Ludger can tell how happy he is at the sentiment. Ludger hugged him immediately.

“Happy birthday, brother.”

Julius pats his back affectionately. “Thanks. I didn’t need all this, though.”

“Of course you do. I’d give you the world if I could.”

“Strong words for you. I’m supposed to be the one saying things like that.” They exchange smiles before joining the others at the brimming kitchen table. “Okay, everyone let’s eat.”

They all begin to talk and eat, but something feels off. Ludger watches everyone closely, noticing slight differences. Jude is seated at the end of the table looking as distant as he is neglected. Leia sits beside him but nearly all her her attention is directed at Alvin, who she jabs with an elbow in-between jokes. Beside him is Elize who is conversing heatedly with Rowen. On Jude’s other side is Muzet who is chatting non-stop with Milla. Happy grins all around, but the loneliness in Jude’s is evident.

It is then that Ludger realizes who is absent: the other Milla.

Julius meets Ludger’s eyes. “Something wrong?”

Ludger turns his eyes down to his plate. “Nothing.”

“Don’t think you can fool me. I’m practiced in reading you.”

He lowers his voice, cautious of alerting the others to his worry. “Don’t things feel a bit off without the other Milla here?”

Julius crinkles his forehead. “Other Milla?”

“Uh…” An explanation sits on his tongue, but he stops himself. Something about Origin. Did Origin do this? If so, would explaining things somehow break the happy spell?

His eyes shift back to Jude’s lonely smile and a lump forms in his throat.

Everyone’s left now besides his little family. Julius insisted on doing the dishes, so Ludger sits on the sofa watching Elle poke and prod at Rollo. She turns her attention to him. “Daddy?”

“Yeah?”

“You seem sad.”

He forces a smile. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

“Is it something for grown-ups?”

“It’s…something I don’t think I should talk about.”

“Oh…” She looks down at her hands.

He hates making her look so helpless. “Alright. I guess I can trust you with it.”

She grins, eyes sparkling. “I won’t tell anyone!”

A real smile forms on his face at this. “I love you and mommy and Julius more than anyone. But I think that us being together means someone else needs to be apart from the one he loves most.”

Elle frowns. “That’s not fair.”

“Sadly, life isn’t always fair.”

“Then…” She places her hand on her chin in thought. “Make it fair.”

He gives a dry chuckle. “If only things were that easy.” But then he thinks, what if they are?

Of course, things aren’t. Even if he could get Origin to alter reality again, getting to see him is an endeavor all on its own. The sky above Marksburg is clear and blue. Bridge entirely absent.

The life of a Kresnik.

There is no path forward.  

Streams of sunlight set Milla’s skin aglow. She looks as beautiful as a painting laid across the bed. Ludger trails a hand lazily down her bare arm, watching the way her face twitches. It feels like a wonderful dream, but guilt still rests in his gut. This is a sight Jude will never see now, thanks to him.

Milla’s eyes flutter open. “Hmm.” She hums pleasantly, then sets inquiring eyes on him. “Hey, you okay?”

“Just thinking about Jude.”

“Jude?”

“He seemed lonely back at the party.”

“Oh.” She set her lips in a line. “He’s seemed distant since we got together, and now that Leia and Alvin are together too, I think it’s getting to him. If only he could find someone as well.”

“Yeah.” If only this could be a perfect world.

Ludger knows it’s pointless, but he frequents Marksburg in the hope that one day for whatever reason the bridge will reopen. He has spoken to Origin in his mind day in and day out without change, but when Jude excuses himself one night when Leia toasts to friends and love, he decides he needs to try harder. If only so that he can sleep peacefully at night.

“Origin!” Ludger shouts to the sky. Regardless of the late hour, the city is bustling and many passersby give him strange looks. Ignoring them, he continues with more confidence than he feels, “You can hear me right? This may be my ideal world, but it isn’t a perfect world. Can’t you change it? There must be something you can do.”

There is the smallest shift in the air. Then pain ignites in his brain, turning his world to darkness.

When he wakes again, there is a dull ache. He can’t really remember yesterday or what today is. For a moment he has an insane worry that he will be alone, but the worry is proved unnecessary when he hears Milla’s sleepy voice murmur his name from beside him. His chest feels lighter than ever.

“Hey,” she says fondly in greeting.

“Hey.”

She giggles against her hand. “What? You look overly happy.”

“I just love you.”

Milla smiles. “I love you, too.”

She kisses him and life is perfect.


End file.
